Advanced Procrastination

1. I have been attending a conference this week that starts at 4:30 in the morning because it's based in the UK. Sunday night, I didn't get any sleep because I knew I was going to have to get up at 3:30 to make that first day welcome, and I did that whole stupid day-before-school thing where you can't sleep in anticipation. Then Monday night, I went to bed at 8:00 and slept like a baby until 4:00. It was wonderful. Last night, though, I woke up at 2:00 with the worst burning pain in my thigh. I've had neuropathy before that feels like burning, but it's always been mild and brief. Y'all, this was excruciating; it literally felt like my leg was blistering up in a horrible burn. Fortunately it quit after a bit, but my leg still feels weird and like it might start doing it again at any moment. :(

2. My appointment is tomorrow with the rheumatologist, and I am so worried I'm not going to get any help. Especially if I'm going to start feeling like I'm burning. I have an incredibly high pain tolerance; I can deal with join and muscle pain. I cannot deal with this burning shit. It hurts so bad in a way I can't handle. :(

3. I gave my paper today and it was well received. The chair of my panel, Andrew King, is one of the foremost Ouida scholars, and he introduced me as a serious Ouida scholars in a worldwide context, and I have a hard time knowing if he really means that or if he is just being his delightful, gracious self (the imposter syndrome is real, y'all), but it was a really nice thing to hear even if it's not exactly true.

4. Weird thing: so one of the online conference attendees had her son with her watching the presentations, which is totally fine; he was attentive, and he asked a couple of questions at two panels and was respectful and observed conference etiquette (even if his questions were not good; he's 11; whatever). But then, she was on my panel, and she involved her son in her presentation. It was on Catherine Wells and her rather fraught marriage to H. G. and how he was kind of a dick, and she had her son read several quotes at different points during the presentation. He had a very tiny Oliver Twist more-gruel-please voice and was wearing a newsboy cap. I can't decide if this was cute and precocious or really inappropriate. It certainly was weird and out of the ordinary. LOL Dylan thinks I'm being judgmental. But like, my academic peeps, this is totally weird right?

1. I've been on tenterhooks waiting for my lab results from my initial consult with Dylan's rheumatologist. I will never, ever allow their phlebotomist to stick me ever again. She stuck me five times, including in my hand and down my forearm, and I still am bruised up to hell and back. To add insult to injury, she then refused to stick me anymore and I had to go to an independent LabCorp. That phlebotomist stuck me once and it didn't even hurt. I'll be getting all my lab work done there from now on. I had it done on July 3, and I've been so antsy to get the results but the holiday clearly backed everything up. Anyway, I got the results today, and they are super fucked up! Hooray! I am testing positive for things I did not before on previous tests and on tests I've never taken before. She also sent me for an interminable set of x-rays on my knees and back. I am really hopeful for a diagnosis, but who knows. I've been disappointed before. It looks like the most likely possible diagnoses will be lupus, mixed connective tissue disease, and/or ankylosing spondylitis (hence all the x-rays). We'll see. She might just tell me I'm old and fat. *sigh*

2. ( Stranger Things recs )